Cassetteboy vs The Bloody Apprentice
Another treat from Cassetteboy
From the darkest recesses of Oldfield Park
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Would you pay to read papers online?
Rupert Murdoch expects to start charging for access to News Corporation's newspaper websites
within a year.
'The current days of the internet will soon be over,' he
said, as the media strived to fix a 'malfunctioning' business model.
Would you pay to read papers online?
Source: The Guardian
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Car-prang secretary bites off boss's todger
A Sin Chew Daily eyewatering report
A Singapore woman who hired a private detective to probe her husband's suspected infidelities got more than sufficient material for a divorce when the gumshoe witnessed the chap's secretary accidently bite off his todger.
According to reports in China Press and, we kid you not, the Sin Chew Daily, the 30-year-old woman was orally pleasuring her boss in a parked car in a Singapore park when the vehicle was hit by a reversing van.
The investigator recounted: “On reaching the park, they did not alight from the car. Not long after, the car started to shake violently. After the car was hit by the van, there was a loud scream from the woman whose mouth was covered with blood.”
The private dick called an ambulance which whisked the victim to hospital. The woman "later followed her lover to the hospital with part of the sexual organ".
The detective admitted it was "the first time he had encountered such an incident".
Reports do not note the current state of the man's marriage, nor of his penis. ®
Shamelessly ripped from The Register in the interests of public safety
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Firm's £11m gem valuation forged
The £11m valuation of a 2kg ruby owned by a failed construction company was based on a forged document, a creditors report seen by the BBC has said.
The "Gem of Tanzania" was thought to be worth £11m and was the key asset of Wrekin Construction in Shropshire.
Administrators Ernst & Young have said the valuation documents were forged but it is not known who by.
It said the firm, which made 500 people redundant when it went into administration in March, owed £20.7m.
The Shifnal-based company also had bases in Yorkshire, Northamptonshire and Cheshire.
'Forged document'
Its accounts had said it exchanged £11m in shares for the gemstone in 2007.
The creditors report says: "It has been confirmed that the valuation relied upon in the year ending 31st December 2007 statutory accounts of Wrekin Construction Co Ltd (WCC), purportedly issued by the Instituto Gemmologico Italiano is a forged document.
"The source of the forgery is not known. The gem had been included as an £11m current asset in WCC's balance sheet."
It adds: "At this time it is not possible to place a value on the uncut stone."
via news.bbc.co.uk
Don't suppose the guy they bought the gem from had an address in Nigeria?
;-)
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The Evening Standard's humiliating climb-down
Clarification: Camp for Climate Action
Evening Standard
23.04.09Clarification: Camp for Climate Action
Further to our article of 20 February "Anarchists plan City riots for G20 leaders' arrival" we are happy to clarify that Camp for Climate Action were planning a demonstration and not a riot to coincide with the arrival of world leaders for the G20 summit. We apologise for any misunderstanding caused by the headline.
Don't you just love the "any misunderstanding caused"?
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"Like something out of a fairy tale"
Luckily for Joanne and Darren (they're from Essex, right?), the judge was pretty lenient.Joanne Jones discovered that the cash machine paid out even though she was more than £1,000 overdrawn and the withdrawals did not appear on her HSBC statement. The couple made continuous visits, taking £1,250 in five minutes one day and £2,400 in 10 minutes on another. Jackson said the fault arose owing to the machine being very old, and that "very few" other people benefited from the free payouts because "a majority of people in Billericay were not overdrawn."
When questioned, Joanne Jones admitted the crime and said she was surprised they had taken as much as £61,400. Her husband said it was the bank's fault.
Judge Christopher Mitchell told them: "It's like something out of a fairy tale, put a bit of plastic in the wall and free money comes tumbling out and there is no record on their bank account."
Read the whole story on the Guardian website
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